Then Everything Changed.
Worry.
Before three other humans entered my life, my concern only focused on me.
Would I get sick? Would I fail to hand a project in on time? Would I burn dinner?
Then I had children.
One biologically. Two through adoption. Then everything changed.
What if they got sick? Really sick.
What if they got in an accident? A bad accident.
What if people were mean to them? Made fun of them?
What if they were goofy?
Like me.
If I was goofy and people thought me goofy — that stunk.
But if my children were goofy and their friends made fun of them…
This being a mother was a lot more worry than I ever considered.
When Rachel had her baby on Friends, she held a bundle of silent blankets.
Imaginary babies are quiet ones. Ones you never worry about.
Then they come into your life and every electric sensory receptor in your body — things you didn’t even know existed — clamors for them.
Damn it.
It was so much easier without children.
Motherhood is exhausting. Financially, physically and emotionally.
But it is rich.
Beyond measure.
Linking up with MamaKat prompt 5:) Share something you miss from before you were a mom.
Only worrying about me.
What about you? What do you miss?
Completely agree about the worrying. Having kids has made me a bundle of nerves about everything!
I’ve always been a worrier, but motherhood really kicked it into high gear. I think what I miss most about pre-motherhood is the feeling (closely associated with the worry) of being carefree. I always joke with my husband that I wish for one day I could have amnesia…
great post. I miss watching what I want on TV, going to the bathroom in privacy, and leaving the house without changing and chasing a 3yr old boy. MOST OF ALL I miss not having to worry every waking and sleeping second about my son. BUT I LOVE being a mother, The joys of motherhood out way all the craziness…though I wish I knew he would be okay in life.
It has been so long it is hard to even remember that stage of live where all your concerns could center around you. And on top of that I imagined far fewer things to worry about when it was just me. Have kids and you realize so many dangers are lurking and life can change on a dime.
The worry is instant and begins the moment that baby is growing inside of your belly. I don’t think the worry ever goes away, even when they become adults.
The worry is worth being a Mom.
When I considered this prompt, this is exactly what I thought about!
Could not agree with you more! The constant worry is a tough one to stop. Also, always feeling guilty if I’m not constantly spending time and entertaining my three little ones. I’m so hard on myself.
I miss having the weekends to go on adventures with my hubby. We used to go rollerblading and go to the beach almost every weekend. Now, our weekends are filled with sports games and theater rehearsals etc….
But, as you so eloquently put it, being a parent is definitely “rich beyond measure”. Its true. 🙂
“What if people are mean to them.” Next to them getting seriously ill, this is my biggest worry. My biggest challenge as a Mom will be to not hunt down the offender and go all Mommy-ballistic.
Awesome, bang-on post.
You have spoken the truth here. Rich beyond measure is perfectly put!!! Sweet post.
Same goes for grandmotherhood (if that’s not a word, it should be.) It’s absolutely exhausting!
Beautiful, and so very true!
This has to be one of the best lines ever
“When Rachel had her baby on Friends, she held a bundle of silent blankets.”
So freakin true!!!
If I had chosen this prompt, this is EXACTLY what I would have written. You never disappoint!
Thanks Kathy. Worry is pretty universal among mothers. I’m trying to let it go. When my went to college this fall, I realized control is really an illusion…ugh.
I am 100% right there with you – only worrying about me – and those worries seem so small to the worries that I now have with my kids! Gorgeous post!
I am a worrier too. I don’t think it will go away when they leave for college, either, but hopefully it will lessen. I went away for a trip on my own for the first time during the summer, and while I missed them, I couldn’t get over how liberating it was to only make decisions for myself and worry about myself.
It really is amazing how a child changes everything about your life. It can be quite challenging, but I agree, it is rich and we would surely short change our own lives not allowing the experience of motherhood. And… the worries don’t stop when they grow up, as you are now experiencing. And… then the grandchildren come!
Reading your post was enjoyable. Simple and straight to the heart. Point!