Musing on a padded bra. For my 10 year old.
I went shopping with my daughter.
She needed something to wear to church now the weather is cooling.
I specified “church” because in the South people say “church clothes” as a description for attire as people other places say “coffee house formal.”
We started picking out things and she said, “I want to try that on.”
No way.
Then I thought, what’s the harm in letting her try it on?
We gathered all the clothes, got into the dressing room and she began to put on the outfits.
First the jeans.
Then the other outfits. She reached for the bra.
No, shaking her head, she grabbed another top.
Finally, she tried everything else. It was time to try on…the bra.
She had saved it for last like I used to save whatever “it” was on my four-square-plate of elementary school food that I thought the best offering for the day.
“It fits!”
“Of course it fits, they want it to fit.”
She put her shirt on, turned and admired her blooming profile.
“I like it.”
It looked weird. It looked weird like when I put on my super-duper, padded, prevent-assassination-attempt bra I bought online without reading the fine print…like how increases you three cup sizes.
I can’t wear it without people giving me that look. Did you have “it” done?
No, I didn’t have “it” done. And why do you care?
My 10 year old doesn’t need that overnight.
“You are not getting that bra.”
She didn’t put up a fight at all. Which in the end said more than anything.
As much as she wanted a bosom, (I love that word. Makes me feel so literary.) she didn’t mind being told by her mean mother she had to wait a few years.
At 10 years, she wants to “fix” her body.
That’s so female. I love it and hate it.
What do you think? A padded bra for a 10 year old. Even though as she said, “It fits?”
I say hold off as long as you can. You made the right decision momma. I brought my son shoe inserts today. Far less controversial..lol.
Padded training bras are outrageous!
Xoxo ging
I don’t feel like I can keep up with her sometimes. She says she needs a blog so she can write about me. That’s going to be fun.
Heck no! No way! Oh – don’t mind me I’m the mother of a soon-to-be-10 year old trying to fend off time/puberty/mortality. What a great post – a first bra is so much more than just a bra, isn’t it. SO much more!
Thank you for writing this post, how weird it was for you to see her in “the bra” – you illustrated how awkwardly I am moving forward wtih my 9YO in this direction. Mostly of course, it’s all about them and the changes they are going through…but it’s about us too, their moms. What we’re watching them go through. What we’re going through, too. A powerful post…thank you.
These aren’t the times to be a pushover mom. To raise a strong daughter bent in the right direction we have to be a strong mother. Not afraid to say no.
makes me glad i have boys. I think 10 is too young for a PADDED bra
You are right Lisa. It’s a brave new world out there. For mothers of girls and boys.
I have an 18 month old and I can tell you that without a doubt she will not have a padded bra at 10. NO WAY! Not happening! I think girls today grow up too quickly anyway, and encouraging it with things like a padded bra for a child is silly. Plus, I think it gives the impression that her chest isn’t perfect just the way it is. I have “next-to-nothings” I’m okay with that even though society says bigger is better.
Your daughter must be a smart girl to be fine with not buying that bra! That shows maturity (and good parenting.) 🙂
Lane, I’m not so sure how I do most days, but I think if you’re getting called “mean” — you’re probably doing a good job. Enjoy those “hard” toddler years. The real challenges come later.