I was not a good mummy today.
I felt as emotionally drained as a mouse caught swimming all day long in a clothes washer.
Some days you can’t meet the kids’ expectations.
There I am working. A random photo shot by some child who thinks I work all the time.
Which is what my daughter just told me. Which is what my youngest son says to me all the time.
It’s what they both say when they want to pull out their best dagger to zing toward my heart.
This summer I took them to one point of the state to the other. To beaches, amusement parks and Walmart when they begged because they had money to spend.
But tonight when my daughter mentioned wanting to hang pictures tomorrow and I said I had to work — she cried.
I decided as much as I don’t like what age is doing to my outer skin, I like what it is doing to my inner epidermis.
It’s tough.
I still feel pinches that I’m not a good enough mum.
Then I realize no one will ever be good enough.
We just have moments of greatness to enjoy. And then there are days when all we do is battle.
To be a good mummy you have to battle and be strong and not give in to something you know is not for their best. Whether it be another brownie or Facebook account.
They are going to try and wear you down with their arguments formulated to attack the essence of your capacity to be a good mother. The mother they need.
Well, enough of this couch session.
Got to get back to work.
How good are your children at guilt and manipulation?
Some days if everyone is fed, not-naked or dead, it’s the best that can be done and counts as a win!
Thanks Julie. Reading that this morning gave me a little lump in my throat. You are right — at least I can say thete was no bloodshed. Well, if there was, they cleaned it up so quick I never noticed.
Even though mine is grown, I still remember those times. Hang in there – it WILL get better and you won’t have to be such a “not good” mummy any more!
Thanks Peg. A hug to you.
It IS a battle some days isn’t it??? We do everything we can for them all the time, and then a little extra for ‘fun’, and the one day we need to do something for ourselves like work or say no (which in turn is actually still for them) we feel horrible.
My 6yo is all about the pouting and tears. My 3yo, even more so.
But, I’m okay with the pinches that make me feel like a bad mom, especially the ones that come about after saying ‘no’ to their eating junk food, or wanting to climb to the top of our flimsy swing set, or to buying an ipod touch; because one day, far, far, far into the future, they’ll thank me….
…I think.
Great post, as usual!!!
I feel like I’ve bent over backwards this summer to provide my kids with near constant activities and entertainment. I also try to sit down in front of my computer and work for an hour or two every day as well. During that “work” time my kids do the same thing: they tell me all I do is work. Ugh!