I was doing fine. Then came the birthday.
He’s been gone a little over a month.
My oldest.
First one away at college.
I was down a bit. But starting to do better.
The came today. His birthday.
And I was surprised by how emotional I got this morning.
Even typing that I feel silly, embarrassed. Nothing has happened to him. In fact it’s all great. He’s away at a wonderful school. Enjoying his classes. Meeting interesting people. Having new experiences.
But the birthday flag sits in a corner and not out on the porch like it has on September 7 for so many years.
He didn’t tell anyone it was his birthday. Just like his father never did.
One year with a new job as a young law associate, I asked my newish hubby if he was going to tell anyone it was his birthday.
“No way. I don’t want anyone to know.”
Okay, if that’s the way he wanted it, I didn’t call a single co-worker. I certainly didn’t text them or even e-mail. No back then, I would have had to actually talk to someone on a corded phone.
His birthday came and he went to work. I called him in the middle of the day. “How’s it going?”
“No one knows it’s my birthday.”
Of course no one knows it’s your birthday. You didn’t tell them.
So this is a text I sent to a friend this morning. A friend whose daughter is a freshman at the same college.
It’s hard to not worry if you baby is having a good 19th birthday.
Of course it will be better if his friends know.
She will tell them, won’t she…and they will do something?
UGH.
I hear you… September’s a rough time to have a b’day. Mine this month, six days before my daughter’s. It was a rough year that first year she went away (who am I kidding, it’s rough every year). This year, though? I’m making the trek to spend her 21st with her, wouldn’t miss toasting that girl for anything 🙂 Hang in there and I say HANG THAT FLAG, Mama!
Happy birthday Julia…you are going to tell us when it is? It will be fun to celebrate together with your daughter. My mother, sister and I have ours together too.
I am crying…that was so sweet!!! Go put that flag out!! I will tell Annie to text him too!!!
I cannot believe he is 19. I remember when he was 6. Annie will be 18 next month. oh my goodness – time is fleeting and we must cling to these days! Ack!
I love you! Let me know if you ever need an ear to listen – my heart is always open for you!!! And no – we never stop being a mama!
Jules
I need a birthday flag! What a great tradition! I say put it out anyway. I was a bucket of tears when my baby girl went to jr high. I can’t even imagine what I’ll be like when she goes off to college.
Aww, so sweet – makes you wish you could put a note in his lunch box or something. 🙁 I hope his birthday is special – you fly that flag! Maybe send him a picture of it flapping in the breeze to let him know you’re thinking of him. 🙂
Hug Julie. Thanks so much.
It will catch you by surprise Melanie. I have two younger ones at home. It’s changed the way I look at my time with them.
Oh, Jamie – I am sorry. What is it with men? We women announce it to the world – one time when I was sick the Fedex guy came to the door and I told him I had the flu – I just needed someone to KNOW.
I hope he ends up having a great day. My first year in college it snowed ALOT the week of my birthday and I did not receive any packages or cards or anything – back before email and internet and cell phones. I was okay, though – just realized I was an adult.
Sorry you are having a tough time. I dread Sam leaving home.
-Trish
Thanks Trish that made me laugh. We are going to call when the kids come home from school. And leave a message. I faint if he actually answers it.
Please tell me that flag is waving…
You should run in the dark, and ball your eyes out, no one will know. I’ve done this.
Happy birthday to Jamie’s boy.
I have done that Lisa. Though it usually makes me start to hyperventilate — and I have to walk home. ha.
Happy Birthday to your boy. It is so hard when they grow up. You did the right thing. The first year my son was away on his birthday he was also 19. I was able to arrange a cake to be delivered. I knew if I asked he would have told me he didn’t want anything, but afterwards he called and was happy that someone remembered his birthday.
It will be fun to find out if he had any surprises on his birthday… thanks to mom! Once a mom always a mom! Love the post.
This is so sweet! I bet there are kids all over that campus that would love to have you as their mom. My mom used to make my favorite home cooked dinner for my birthday treat whenever I finally made my way home. I LOVED that. Cafeteria food just isn’t the same, ya know?
The birthday flag is a great idea! I’d never heard of that before?! How is that? Hopefully, your friend’s daughter gave him a quick bday shout-out. Once a mama’s heart, always a mama’s heart. 🙂
no, we never stop being a mom and worrying about your kids. I’m sure she will and he will feel wonderful with all the birthday wishes. Must be wonderful, but hard to watch your kids grow and leave.