Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it. Hair. A reprise.
Why did I wait so long to cut it off?
As I write this I sit waiting for my son’s hair to be cut surrounded by the sounds of women talking, the smell of hair potions and the whoosh of hair dryers.
Today in the mail I received an article from this week’s New York Times Magazine from an Atlanta friend. The note with it read…
"Jamie ~ Instantly thought of you while reading this!"
I loved reading it. (The note and the feature)
A few days out of cutting my hair, reading Joyce Maynard’s thoughts got me to thinking.
Why did it take me so long?
I didn’t go as short as the author (but if I was writing an article for the NYTimes I might have) but I completely got her fears.
Men friends giving her baffled looks upon announcing her plans. “My knees may ache and my brow might appear lined (at least when the Botox wears off), but so long as my hair hung past my shoulders, as it had when I was young, I could still believe that some aspect of the girl I was at 18 still resided in my 58-year-old body.”
The more I analyzed the cutting hair conundrum, the more complex the puzzle became. Much more so than could be pieced together into a whole image on one rainy weekend at the beach.
I knew already it wasn’t the “long hair is sexy” thing. Not that I don’t think long hair is sexy, I knew in my head and saw in the mirror my “long hair for the sake of being sexy” days were behind me.
So why hadn’t I chopped it long before?
Warmth. That is honest. I love being wrapped with hair when it’s cold. But warmth wasn’t enough reason for me looking woefully out of style.
It was the point Maynard touched on in her feature. Youth. The young girl in me always wore her hair longer. What do you mean it doesn’t work anymore?
Yes. Just like my knees and the ever-deepening facial parenthesis emphasizing my mouth, my hair betrayed me.
Still thick – its graying texture hanging from my lackluster skin tone looked so very average.
And here’s the kicker.
It only can go from average to rotten.
I think that is the long and short of it. Long hair on me is never going to look like it did 20 years ago because I will never look like that 28.75 year old again.
Pooper.
At least I figured it out. Not to say I ever won’t have it long again (because I am the stubborn sort), in spite of the fact I’d probably wear it up all the time.
I’m really okay with it.
Aging is so hip surprising I never tried it before.
hmm.
I wore my hair long from age 3 until I was 26. Yet I’d always been envious of the girls with the pixie cuts. I was too chicken to get all my hair chopped off, until my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then I swallowed my fear, sat in the chair, and donated all that hair to Locks of Love. Mom is now cancer free, and I have the pixie cut I’ve always wanted. 🙂
I grew up with a very fashionable mother who passed down many rules to me. Wear blush and lipstick if nothing else. Don’t wear skirts too short, they’ll cheapen you. But at the top of her commandments was this: NEVER wear your hair long after the age of 40. NEVER. Maybe I can blame her for my hair struggles but I’ve never had it much longer than a chin length bob and have had a love/hate relationship with it since toddlerhood. I’ve been obsessive about my hair for years, it’s amazing how much this stuff, these tiny fibres that grow from our noggins, can affect us. I’m sure your new haircut looks fab.
Ahh, that’s a tough thing to struggle with, giving up something that you associate with youth and the past. I think we need before/after pics of your hair!
Maybe, like Samson, we hold all our strength and identity in our hair? I was just the opposite, sporting the short cut in my twenties and slightly longer now.
I grew up in the South. We were taught that women over 40 should never have hair below their chin or shoulder line. It went along with the rules about not wearing white before Easter and fat girls should only wear black. LOL
I rebelled. I wore my hair long until I was in my early 50’s. Nine years ago I met my friend Ginger. She is a hair stylist and has been doing my hair ever since. The color changes constantly but it is short now. I did love my long hair.
Welcome to aging..It can be surprisingly interesting.
Aging is hip, but it ain’t easy! Good for you for cutting your hair and being OK with doing it!
I’m kind of that way about coloring mine. I’m scared that if I stop coloring my hair I won’t feel as young and attractive anymore. And that’s a scary feeling!
Aging gracefully – harder than it sounds. 🙂
Keeping my hair long like the forty-four-year-old hippie that I am! But good for you for having the courage to do it. Post some pics!
I was just thinking of this the other day. I’m almost 35. How much longer can I keep my long hair? I hope I’ve got a few more years before it looks ridiculous. I guess I’ll just know the right time to cut it. Would love to see before & after photos!
Hmmm… I’m in the midst of growing mine out yet again… of course, it’ll be too hot to wear it down so it’ll be in a ponytail the whole summer. Personally I do like it shorter, but dear husband thinks he likes it long.
Yes, we need pictures.
Jani ~ You’re hair was so cute last time I saw you….remember I kept saying, “it’s so cute, I need to do something with mine.” John was really lobbying for me to cute mine, he said it was just too much. Ha. The heat was the last straw for me. It’s been so warm here and I would do is put it back. When I get a real short do, I’ll sent you some.
>>Aging is so hip surprising I never tried it before.<<
Amen to that! [this coming from an almost 65 y/o great-grandmother who still rides her own Harley]
Pics or it didn’t happen.
I know, Erica and all asking for pics. Pretty lame for a pro-blogger like moi. Can only say my phone and camera fell victim earlier in week to a smoothie.
It strange how we get attached to our hair… like you said, it’s just hair, it grows back. Even at 18 y/o, when I did cut my hair, it seemed like the hardest thing. And it was. I cried after it was chopped off. So good for you for being brave enough to do it and embracing the change. I’m sure that it looks awesome!
God, I cut my hair short about 3 years ago and have been growing it out ever since – mainly because my children hated it.
I LOVED this post, btw. That’s all. (-:
Oh you should post pics! I always struggle with a hair cut too. I love the idea of long hair, but it really doesn’t fit in my life style. I also love the idea of short hair, but am not sure I can pull off being so stylish. It is a big decision for sure.
I’ve had my hair really long, really short and somewhere in between. I tell myself, it’s just hair, long, short, it’s temporary, it grows out, it gets cut. As long as in that moment, it fits you, go for it.
I just had my 5 year old daughter’s hair cut from below her butt to above her shoulders.
She lost 4 teeth a week later.
The she got a fedora and a Justin Beiber CD.
She decided to boycott all of her smocked clothing and trade it for Hello Kitty.
I’m convinced the cute hair cut was the reason all of these things followed.
Don’t go buy a Justin Beiber CD.
PS-Liked this post! A lot!
I used to feel that way Alison. But it was weird. I felt like it would take so much time to grow out. You can’t get the length back once sheared. Time just seems to matter so much more these days.
That made me laugh Ado — about the children hating it.
Ha…..My daughter and I went to a Bieber concert a while ago. My now 11 yo says she “hates’ me. I still love him and crank “Baby” just to make her cringe.
Great post! Congrats on the hair cut…haven’t done mine yet…Mr. Jenn used to pick the grey hairs out of the top, though, but now they’ve gotten out of control. Time for a change, and thanks for the inspiration!
I have mine long right now…and figure I’ll enjoy it for a couple more years before I decide that I have seen the best of it and move on…but it’s a tough call…especially when your locks have been your trademark 🙁
It’s so funny the things we get attached to! I had a similar experience over a decade ago but I’ve been short ever since.
At my last hair appt I took in a picture of myself for a reference for the highlighted look I was going for. Only when my stylist and I were laughing about it did I realize that I liked my hair then but what I REALLY liked was me at 25!
Would really love to see your new look 😉 Hair style, like fashion sense can be a die hard habit. But when we break away, we feel liberated. And anew.
eep! this hit home for me….just got my hair cut today. well, I got it trimmed. I’ll be 31 in a few weeks and I always tell myself I won’t be able to have long hair forever, so might as well enjoy it now. It ‘s a big deal to some of us. I hate to admit it, even though I’m an independent, strong lady–another reason I keep it long is that my husband likes it that way. There I said it. For some reason guys dig the long look. It’s the youthful sexy thing. Love the honesty here and I’m glad you went for it! I’ll get there one day too 🙂
Aging is so hip… I don’t know that I’ve ever been hip, but if aging is hip, then I have hope!
Congrats on the new cut. (I loved the musical Hair.)
I have tried to grow my hair longer as an adult, but I seem to get a better response from the outside world and my husband with it shorter. Someday, I’ll brave the pixie!
And like Erica M, I’m wondering where the pics are?
Gendered ageism and the oversexualization of women. Two of my fav topics. I currently am ashamed to even enter a salon for my outgrowth of gray is blinding. Luckily, it’s been sunny enough to sport my fav pink ball cap. In 2009, Dora the explorer traded in her cute cut for long locks, her shorts for a skirt, her senible shoes for ballet flats, and her backpack for a purse. She had to. She became a tween in America. I will just wait until she turns 42 to see what she does with her locks and follow suit. (Sarcasm, of course. Love this post and honest examination. Kinda on par with the Judd patriarchial society commentary, but mor fun to read).
I completely agree. I still have mid-back length hair at 34. It is up in a ponytail. Every. Single. Day. For the past 14 months (when my second child was born). It doesn’t make sense to keep it that way but I’m just so attached to it. Plus, if I cut it short, I might actually have to do something with it!
I would go short and perky, but I have psoriasis on my scalp. No one needs that in front of her at the line at the grocery.
This has been another TMI moment from kdwald.
my mom’s hair is much longer than mine. it looks great on her still, but i get it. the comfort of it. the hard time letting it go. good for you for pushing yourself somewhere new!!
I’ve had super long and super short hair and every length in between. None of it has ever felt right 🙂 I was hoping for a picture too – to see the full transformation. Good for you for going for it!