I just couldn’t do it anymore.
For five years, I tried to be funny each week.
Some weeks, it just wasn’t possible. I didn’t feel particularly funny.
That is a problem for a humorist. For the most part, you have to write somewhat funny even when you’re depressed as hell.
* * *
This week for MamaKat’s Writer’s Workshop I’m choosing prompt 1.) Share what you were blogging about last year at this time…what has changed?
It hit me that a year ago week of July 4th, instead of sending in my weekly column as usual, I emailed the publisher my last column. I couldn’t tell him in person because I was afraid my voice would crack; my nose and eyes would run. And I’d look like an IDIOT.
For five years, I had spent Sunday afternoons drafting a column.
In the car coming back from vacations, on the porch on beautiful spring afternoons, in my room on rainy afternoons when the rest of the world was taking a nap.
I knew it was time to spend my creative energy and talent on other things but like a tired toddler — I didn’t and don’t transition very well.
My husband, if reading, is nodding his head vigorously.
So what’s the deal a year later?
Well, I still send in a column every now and then. If the muse is there, I can write for my Morgan County Citizen readers.
I am able to concentrate more fully on freelance writing assignments.
I spend more time having fun blogging and meeting the vast social blogging universe.
I can get serious about a first draft of this story that is forming in my head.
I’m sad that I don’t have that weekly connection with my beloved readers.
No. I’m mostly sad that I can’t do it all. Be funny, creative, writing everything I’d like and still make family my number one priority.
This is good for me and I am happy.
I’d just be happier if I could do it all.
I think.
Where were you a year ago?
this post makes me want to give you a big hug! [so here it is.]
Thanks Katie…This exercise was really good for me. At the time it was a very hard decision just because I enjoyed it so. Looking back, I realize that everything worked out great and we can’t let fear of change stop us from following our heart.
so wise! love the experiences that teach us. i remember sitting on the front porch last year when i was living with the 85 year old i was taking care of, reading the newspaper and coming across your column on the bottom of the page. i read it and was totally intrigued. never thought that i would actually meet the lady behind the writing in the future. at the time it can be hard to connect the person with their life. their actual struggles that they hide so deeply. you’re an inspiration. to many. love you.
Those are kind thoughts Katie. And exactly why it was so hard to decide to give up the privilege of doing it week after week. 🙂
If only I could remember…I was dealing with PPD a year ago. I was probably in bed moping.
So how did you become a columnist?
Teresa, Glad that you are out of the PPD stage. That certainly couldn’t have been easy. And I submitted my writing to our local weekly paper. The publisher kept running it — so I kept writing. It turned into a weekly spot which I enjoyed very much.
Oh, you hit me where I live with this one. I am considering giving up a job I have loved and held for 10 yrs because of just what you are talking about. A person can only be spread too thin for so long before change has to be considered. And I have been thinking I would be happier too if only I could do it all. But I am starting to think maybe not being able to do it all is a gift. Maybe it helps us narrow our focus to what matters. Anyway, that is what I am hoping!
Good Luck May. As a wise person said — we can’t pick up anything new if we don’t drop something we are clutching tightly in our hands.
I can relate. I don’t think I transition well either and I too would like to do it all, but can’t. You must have made the right decision if you’re happy a year after the fact!
Glad to hear you’re still in a happy place after your transition. I think I was in a similar place a year ago. Hmm. Maybe time for a change? 😉
I think it takes a lot of strength to accept when you can’t do it all. It’s a hard thing and I understand the feeling really well. I’m sorry you miss it, but so glad I’ve gotten to meet you in the blogging world! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love your post – it’s so true that we think we’d happy if we could just do it all. But it’s best to know what we can do and when we should/shouldn’t do it. I totally related to your toddler comment that is so me – I don’t transition well either!
“I’m mostly sad that I can’t do it all. Be funny, creative, writing everything I’d like and still make family my number one priority.”
Me too! I am still bummed because I can’t do it all. I think I might have a Supermom complex…
It will be so interesting to see where you will be next year about this time, won’t it?
I am so glad you’ve made writing a career choice and that you’ve expanded to social media. I always looks forward to your posts!