Yell “Turn that radio down.” Musing on things I never thought I’d do as a mother.
Never say never, right?
This week joining in on Monday Listicles the assignment should we choose to accept it — was to come up with 10 things we thought we’d never be caught dead doing or saying as a mum.
Prophetic never-say-nevers:
1. Worship silence.
Sometimes when the door shuts and it’s just me, the dog, two cats, turtle and three fish (let’s forget the escaped snake), the quiet is deafening.
And I love it.
2. Forget their appointments.
I do not discriminate whether dance (did that last week), orthodontist, dentist (What good mother forgets a child’s dentist appointment?), piano, all manner of athletic and play practices.
Cultivation of Allied organized-mums who text “WHERE R U?” is key here.
3. Let them dress themselves for church.
This really should be I never thought my children would wear athletic shorts, t-shirts and flip flops that look as if they have spent the last 22 summers at the bottom of a landfill — to church.
4. Stay up all night putting together stuff that Santa rudely left on our doorstep un-assembled.
Not that I thought it was terrible, just never thought I would be I would be physically able to stay awake, read blueprints akin to breaking into Kim Kardashian’s pre-nup and then construct a life-size pirate sailing vessel.
5. Touch another human’s vomit. Or more accurately smell another human’s vomit.
6. Not turn on car stereo. At least until we have pulled into traffic in school rush hour. Busy street, loud often disgruntled kids…..Can’t do it.
7. Enjoy Disney World more than when I saw it first time at 7 years of age.
All the thrills of childhood are intensely magnified playing spectator to your child’s wonder. Noted exception being Christmas Eve. (See number 4.)
8. Consider the bathroom a safe house.
9. Did I mention loving silence, quiet…telling them to turn — music, television, that inane little music the Wii makes when it’s been left on — OFF.
This from the a woman who is now deaf from irresponsible headphone use. There was no loud too loud if the song was good. Ugh.
10. Love. I think it’s pretty universal for any mother to be struck with how the world changes when they place that baby in your arms.
Suddenly every speeding driver in a parking lot becomes a fool, every french fry on your plate not your own and every moment as little scarier, brighter, darker and impossibly more wonderful than you could have imagined.
Yes, my own happiness, comfort, struggles, peace are not my number one preoccupation since the gift of motherhood.
Never, ever could have imagined feeling like that.
What about you?
So true! It’s amazing how kids change your view of the world and yourself. I never thought I’d say, “you’ll poke your eye out!” but it’s slipped out of my mouth too many times to count, now.
Okay, wow. ALL of these resonated with me (to use a horrid Californian-in-therapy word, “resonate” – blech.)
But they did.
Esp. the one about enjoying Disney so much more with your own kids. Even with all the fanny-pack-wearin’ crowds. (-:
I love that last part. It’s so true.
Silence? That seems vaguely familiar…
I always say, you know you’re a parent when you can catch your child’s vomit in your bare hands. And that is the ONLY human I could EVER do that for. Normally, I can’t be in the same room. 🙂
That’s a good one Ally. I actually cleaned a child’s nose once with a bare finger before I thought…DEAR LORD, what have I just touched??? I NEVER would have mindlessly done that like you said — for any other human..funny.
I hear you. Silence is my best friend. I still have a casette player in my minivan( I think). Just truly never listen to it. Great list Jamie. And it is about going to church, not what you wear to it, right?
#5- I can’t handle. In our house, I’m team poo, while my husband is team vomit.
I hear you about #1. I truly get “Silence is Golden!”
Well, funny how everyone refers to pre and post kid self here, in this Never Say Never section. 🙂 This is probably because having kids does CHANGE you as well, and not just your live. Great list! As a matter of fact I forgot to give my daughter her lunch ticket yesterday (this makes me a good mother, huh?), so she was refused to be served by the kitchen lady until I called them.
The bathroom as a safe house……I think all moms should just rename their bathrooms as “Safe Haven”. Don’t you think so? I totally go there and pretend to use it ( I even flush for effect ) just to have a moment to breathe!!!
This is a great list. I think it’s my favorite! My kids dress like their homeless 98% of the time. 🙂
You have such a great list! I too never knew how much I would enjoy the silence 🙂