What I learned in 27 years of marriage. (Really need to think of a sexier title.)
December 17th.
Here I was at 25 years old, 27 years ago at my wedding.
Such a joyous occasion.
No. Fooled you. This was five months earlier when we were being sworn in as membas of the Georgia Bar.
Found this looking for wedding photos.
We look pretty serious. Guess that’s what standing in front of a judge will do.
I was in the standard 1988 female lawyer attire. Navy suit. Navy hose. Must have gone crazy because I jettisoned the buttoned-up collar with the navy silk scarf tied in a bow.
This is more like it.
Leaving our reception.
The one thing in this snapshot that always stood out to me was my hand poised to grip the roof of the car.
Like holy cr@p I just got married.
This is totally off-cuff and utterly unplanned but . . .
Things I’ve gleaned from 27 years of marriage.
- Where the heck did 27 years go?
Twenty-seven years is a long time right? Well, 27 years seems like a blip in time sitting here typing this.
- Thank God I married the right person.
I really didn’t give much thought to marrying John. Sure I loved him. Sure there was no one I’d rather spend the day with but . . .
Only till after we were married a few years did I realize how being married to the wrong person would be very, very . . . well, not that great.
- Being in a good marriage takes effort.
Okay, a lot of effort. But not because of marriage. Because we 21st Century Americans are probably the most self-focused generation that has ever been. I count myself among the named. We have goals, dreams, aspirations. Then children and houses and education. And careers.
A good marriage takes self-examination and sacrifice and letting what you want to do at the moment take a backseat sometimes.
- Not having the same interests is cool.
But letting each other have time to explore those interests and passions is vital.
- Have sex. Even if you are too tired to muster the effort it takes to close your eyelids.
This is mainly to the women because as we know, men are never too tired for sex. Too drunk maybe? But never too tired.
Sex is the glue that holds the marriage together. That said, it should be gratifying for each participant. Y’all can discuss amongst yourselves on that.
And the drunk thing is the joke. Please don’t be standing the checkout line saying, “Well, I heard the Miles’ are too drunk every night to have sex.”
If only.
- Laugh.
Please if you don’t take anything else from this post, don’t take yourselves so seriously and laugh. Maybe laughter is the glue that holds marriage together?
I’ll stop because the dog whines to be walked and the laundry calls.
Thank the good Lord for having Johnny so blinded by my beauty (see above re laugh) that he married me. For the most important thing I’ve learned after 27 years is that I surely don’t want to go through this life without him.
To borrow a sappy line from a movie I can’t remember (though he will be able to), you complete me.
xoxoxo
