Thoughts on being the “Old Freak” Room Mom.

Some of you might have seen this recent FB post of mine.




My 10 year old could live with the embarrassment of me going to his class to talk about saving pop tops if:


a)ย  I washed my hair.


b.) Didn’t wear make-up. Because when I wear make-up I look like a freak.


Not just any freak.

An old freak.


I get it.


Every child looks at his mum through the hypercritical magnifying class of 4th grade peers.


NOTHING needs to stick out.


NOTHING should be different.


My dad had a buzz cut way after all the other dads were letting their hair grow. It made me CRAZY. My dad drove a BEHEMOTH station wagon while all the other parents sported about inย  1970’s imports.


Or even better.


They dropped of my elementary school classmates in a Vega.


Even after all these years I still get a chill looking at this photo.



Yes. My parents were older. Therefore they were unhip.


But I’m so cooool. Okay I’m older, but don’t my kids know I’m the only mom in the universe that has ageless hipster-ism?


Of course, they don’t.


Because I don’t.


I’m a 51-year-old mom with 51-year-old skin and 51-year-old hair.


Fifty-one year-old hands –uugggghhh the worse part.


Now this is not a pity me post. Heavens no.


I’m older but I’m wiser. I can roll with some pretty tough sh*t that’s been sloshed my way.


I look fine for my age.


But I need to keep bathing and tone down the make up.


At least on the days I’m heading up to the elementary school.


What do y’all think? Have your kids reached the age of my parents’ are the worst embarrassment to mankind?



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24 responses to “Thoughts on being the “Old Freak” Room Mom.”

  1. Robbie says:

    I feel your pain!! I volunteer at the elementary school and when my son was in first grade he started talking to me about my wardrobe. Apparently I don’t dress CLASSY enough. The area we live in has a HUGE number of very young moms. At 43 I am the age–or older than some of the grandmas!!
    Robbie recently posted..Old School Blogging: Fall

    • Jamie Miles says:

      I know Robbie. I took my son — then 2 years– for outpatient surgery. The nurse looked at me — and you are . . . Mom? Grandmom?

      And I am usually the only mom in the room mom meeting wearing readers. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Jill Hill says:

    My 8th grader feels the sane about me. When I asked if I could chaperone his 8th grade savannah trip, he said: NO way. Absolutely not.

    You are a BEAUTIFUL momma! And super cool.
    And super funny. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Miss you on the road!


    • Jamie Miles says:

      Yeah. That’s my control over HK. If she’s acting up I just say, “I’m going to chaperone the Savannah trip” and she usually straightens right up. And we are sooo cool. They are blind to it.

  3. Oh I hate my hands – I do receive the lovely comments that don’t look my age and then I put my hands behind my back. They look every bit of 43 and some. I’m looking them now saying, ewww I need to start taking biotin again for my nails. At the beginning of Christopher’s football practice season I told Christopher I was going to wear a doorag and a hat because fixing my hair was useless. I’ve been growing it out from short but I can’t bring it all together for a ponytail yet. He is response was, “Please don’t.” I said, “Who cares what I wear on my head?” He said, “I do.” So I didn’t wear the doorag. When I was in middle school my dad had a pair of overalls. It was already weird that we were vegetarians but to me that made him look like a weird vegetarian. The sandals that he wore with the overalls I call Jesus sandals.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted..Rejuvenation: A Refresher Course for My Life

  4. Gina says:

    Jamie, you are rep-ing we 50 somethings like a champ! I just moved, but in the Chicago suburb where we lived for 22 years the young moms (the 30 somethings) are always dressed with hair and makeup to walk their kids to school. All Lululemoned out! We used to do it in our pajamas and sweatpants! It’s so different now. You look fantastic! The reading glasses comment cracked me up because I can’t go anywhere without them either (if I would like to see). The hands and all over loosening of skin drives me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Gina recently posted..Yeah Write Garbleblaster: Scorched Earth

  5. MizYank says:

    Hilarious. From everything I see, you look fantastic! But you’re right: 4th grade is not an environment that rewards the unique, that’s for darned sure. Said she who wore headgear top and bottom during those years.
    MizYank recently posted..If You Ask Me, It Doesnโ€™t Take A Village

  6. jani says:

    I kept forgetting to ask about the cans… So you only need the pull tabs, correct?

  7. Jerralea says:

    Yeah, when my kids hit the age of 12, I was not allowed to walk into the basketball games with them. I was asked to drop them off first and then go park the car. When I got to the door they were nowhere in sight.

    Of course, they weren’t too proud to show up at half-time to ask for money for the concession stand. I always wanted to say, “Little girl, I don’t know you. You should go find your mama to ask for money.”
    Jerralea recently posted..F.F.F.: 09.26.14

  8. May says:

    Wow! Tough crowd, those elementary schoolers!

    And just so you know–THAT was my first car. No kidding. Even that awful green color. Of course, it was several years after bikini clad models bounded in sand near by. And when I went to the gas station it was to check the gas and filler up with oil! My brothers called it the Veg-a-matic, but I think they were just jealous.
    May recently posted..Nuts and Bolts of a Good Life

    • Jamie Miles says:

      That’s too funny May. I remember for some reason my mom had to rent a car and got a 2DR Vega. I thought getting into that tiny backseat was the coolest. Almost like a James Bondsian experience. I guess I really hated those tanks of station wagons.

  9. Jack says:

    My oldest always talks about how young I am compared to his friend’s parents. That is because a bunch of those boys have dads who have been married a couple of times.

    At 45 I am anywhere from 12 to 17 years younger but it is different with my daughter because I tend to be around 10 years older than her friend’s parents.

    Don’t know why it worked out that way, but I relate better to the older guys because our youths were far more similar than with the younger crew.

    I don’t talk or ‘act’ old but generations after mine are just…different.
    Jack recently posted..My Laughing Place

    • Jamie Miles says:

      It’s funny Jack. My husband is my age — even a calendar year older — but the children don’t every comment on his age, or his looking old. I wonder if it has to do with subtle ageism, sexism? Or the fact that I am the disciplinarian most days, and they know how to get me back. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. angelina says:

    during my 12 year-old-niece’s brief visit last week, i giggled {irreverently} to hear her describe my brother, younger than me by four years, with the pre-teen derision that seems to prevail among all hip kids.
    she loves him; i could also hear that in her voice. but if i were there to witness their actual exchanges, i’d lay money that she’d come out with a joe-ism.
    like you, jamie, my brother is a sexy beast, so i’m thinking that kids wear goggles tinted in anti-cool parent hue.
    i’m thankful my goats don’t judge me for my dumpy middle-aged self. and i remain deeply respectful of the love parents have for their children, and for their selfless commitment to nurturing these evolving, exploring beings, even when those beings have no censor.
    thank you for your stories, jamie; you speak truth, sprinkle it with wisdom and wrap it in the humblest of humor.

  11. Stacie says:

    Ha! My youngest is 10 (my oldest is in college). I turn 51 in December. I so hear you! Although I gave up wearing makeup when I moved to the East Coast 4 years ago. It was just too hot and slimy and then I just stopped.
    Stacie recently posted..Full Of Life

  12. I had the opposite problem – my mother was very young, and looked even younger – my father was young too. Sometimes it felt like we were all growing up together! My friends, however, loved my young mom and would spend as much time talking to her as they did to me when they were at my house.
    Sharon Greenthal recently posted..Driving Lessons From My Father

  13. ahem .. we are totally cool!
    And you have that awesome hair to boot #hairenvy
    Sisters From Another Mister recently posted..The Magic Number



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