Muses

Yell “Turn that radio down.” Musing on things I never thought I’d do as a mother.

 

Never say never, right?

This week joining in on Monday Listicles the assignment should we choose to accept it — was to come up with 10 things we thought we’d never be caught dead doing or saying as a mum.

 

 

Prophetic never-say-nevers:

1. Worship silence.

Sometimes when the door shuts and it’s just me, the dog, two cats, turtle and three fish (let’s forget the escaped snake), the quiet is deafening.

And I love it.

 

2.  Forget their appointments.

I do not discriminate whether dance (did that last week), orthodontist, dentist (What good mother forgets a child’s dentist appointment?), piano, all manner of athletic and play practices.

Cultivation of Allied organized-mums who text “WHERE  R U?” is key here. 

 

3.  Let them dress themselves for church.

This really should be I never thought my children would wear athletic shorts, t-shirts and flip flops that look as if they have spent the last 22 summers at the bottom of  a landfill — to church.

 

4.  Stay up all night putting together stuff that Santa rudely left on our doorstep un-assembled.

Not that I thought it was terrible, just never thought I would be I would be physically able to stay awake, read blueprints akin to breaking into Kim Kardashian’s pre-nup and then construct a life-size pirate sailing vessel.

 

5.  Touch another human’s vomit. Or more accurately smell another human’s vomit.

 

6.  Not turn on car stereo. At least until we have pulled into traffic in school rush hour. Busy street, loud often disgruntled kids…..Can’t do it.

 

7.  Enjoy Disney World more than when I saw it first time at 7 years of age.

All the thrills of childhood are intensely magnified playing spectator to your child’s wonder. Noted exception being Christmas Eve. (See number 4.)

 

8.  Consider the bathroom a safe house.  

 

9.    Did I mention loving silence, quiet…telling them to turn — music, television, that inane little music the Wii makes when it’s been left on — OFF.

This from the a woman who is now deaf from irresponsible headphone use. There was no loud too loud if the song was good. Ugh.

 

10.  Love.  I think it’s pretty universal for any mother to be struck with how the world changes when they place that baby in your arms.

Suddenly every speeding driver in a parking lot becomes a fool, every french fry on your plate not your own and every moment as little scarier, brighter, darker and impossibly more wonderful than you could have imagined.

Yes, my own happiness, comfort, struggles, peace are not my number one preoccupation since the gift of motherhood.

Never, ever could have imagined feeling like that.

What about you?

           

           

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