Posts Tagged: Marriage

Financial / Marriage — 5 Comments
13
Jan 12

UGH. Musing on what I should be paid.

It all started with this.

 

 

This is my husband’s version of a to-do list.

Things Scotch-taped to the door jamb. I usually see them.

 

*   *   *

He walked through the door yesterday afternoon.

“Jamie. You forgot to make the deposit.”

Uh oh.

HATE IT when that happens. Especially when his face drops and his countenance ages 20 months.

How it happens somedays, I don’t know. I think yesterday, the deposit slip blended in with the white door frame. Like an itty anole lizard who leaps onto a green bush from the white painted porch.

It disappeared.

“I’m so very sorry….what can I do?”

“You can pay the overdraft fees,” he replied.

Poo.

Just between you and me, I didn’t say poo.

I said, “Sure, I can do that!”

And added, “You know, I do a lot of work around here that I never get paid for.”

This probably wasn’t the time to go asking my husband for a pay increase.

*    *    *

*   48 cents. That’s what my cleaning skills were worth in his estimation. “And that’s a gift. Jamie, look at this house.”

I beg to differ. It wasn’t perfect. It’s been worse. We all can find clean clothes and no dirty dishes lined the sink. (At moment of his comment.)

*  I then asked what about all the driving of the kids I do. “A wash,”  he said. “I do just as much.” (No way.)

*  I brought up my shopping. This is when my teenager chimed in about there never being anything to eat. (A pork roast  for dinner bubbled in the Crock Pot as he made that comment.)

*   “Minus $50 for disorganization and paperwork.”  I let this go considering the recent “failed deposit” incident.

*   Then I brought up marital relations, what about that? “Yeah, that’s about the only thing you could really charge for.”

Super. Always got that for second career option. But at my age, employment in that line of work would entail relocating to The Villages.

“When you think about it. Jamie, you really do precious little. I think you owe me $1000.”

Hmm.

Now, I know my husband. He meant every word. But you don’t know him and how crazy he is about me.

Why else would he stick with me for so long?

I have been thinking lately, how running a house is an administrative skill. And on personality tests, I score under the South Pole with admin questions.

I should have remembered to make the deposit. I’ve always had a great memory.

Or used to.

Ugh.  Are you an administrator?

Yes or No?

(Now that was asked like a true administrator. Fake it till I make it, baby.)

 

Let's BEE Friends

 

 

Life in Madison / Uncategorized — 8 Comments
18
Dec 11

Musing on the Key to 23 years of Wedded Bliss: Let’s Get Physical.

Let’s Get Physical.

If reading those three words conjures up images of Olivia Newton John wearing a headband talking to a dolphin (did she talk to a dolphin in that video?) then you are obviously old enough to have a 20 plus year anniversary.

Not that I am.

Egad.

Yesterday, I just did.

And what was my perfect gift to my husband? A couples workout. (Not exact what you might be thinking right now.) At 2 p.m., we headed up to Madison Fitness.

See. Hubby is walking into the gym on his own volition.

There she is…..

Beverly Morris. (I love this woman.)

Yes, Beverly part therapist, part Sargent Hulka — all wrapped up in perfect, muscled bod.

She makes me think bad things. Like why am I am paying some one to make me do this a 6 a.m. in the morning?

But she makes it fun….(I think this afterwards riding home in the car.)

 

This made me smile.

As did this.

 

Nothing like a small town....Aren't you jealous?

 

Then we started on the workout.

And dear Johnny did everything she said…

This.

 

 

And this.

 

 

And this. Let the record reflect I hate pull-ups.

 

But the worst part for him was the stretching at the end.

I think she put his body in positions it probably hasn’t been in since in utero.

We got home and he got on the couch. I opened his mouth and poured in some Motrin and made him swallow.

What had a done?

We had places we needed to be that night. Getting married a week before Christmas our anniversary always involves going to a party or two.

He revived, the awesome tough guy that I married 23 years ago.

He was sore today and everyone at church felt incredibly sorry for him that his wife would have thought of such a thing. (These people obviously don’t know the real me.)

What do you do on your anniversary?

Well, besides the obvious.

 

Life in Madison / Marriage — 11 Comments
3
Oct 11

Musing on first dates that took.

Twenty five years ago tonight, I went on a first date.

Haven’t been able to lose the dude ever since.

Not through:

* sucky law school tax exams.

* inability to shake that pesky IRS.

* when I was a millisecond from accidentally burning our first house down less than 48 hours after moving in.

This guy doesn’t scare easily.

* One baby the old fashioned way.

*  Two babies by adoption.

*  Infernal teeth grinding in sleep during stressful periods.

* Love of the Florida Gators when all he cared of football was the NFL and the Vikes.

* My inability to keep house. And even worse — my utter inability to train children to do same.

No, 25 years ago he picked me up. And I had to wear pink.

Last second I looked for something to wear and nothing I liked was clean.

Figures.

I like pink.

On other people.

If he knew then what he knew now — wonder if he would still ask?

It’s not like I was easy. Twenty-five years ago anyway.

Did any of your first dates stick around? Ones that you are happy they did.

 

**   **   **   **

Here we are 25 years later.

 No. That’s not us. Tonight out at dinner, we ran into Dorothy and Dan Newton.

Get this.

Today , October 3 is Dorothy’s birthday. (The date of our first date anniversary.)

Friday, October 7 is the anniversary of the day she and Dan met. (October 7 is my husband’s birthday.)

And if things couldn’t get any weirder.

I ate way too much pizza.

Here’s to another 25…

Marriage / Uncategorized — 5 Comments
22
Sep 11

Mr. SMMuse’s advice on a romantic getaway: his muse moves.

Every couple needs time away.

Not just time away from each other, I’m talking about the all-important time away

with each other.

Now some might think I talked bad about my husband yesterday.

I state facts as I see them…but he really sky-rocked in the  dude department when we landed in our room.

His three muse moves to romantic success.

Upon arrival:

 

1.

He pulled out plenty of wine.

 

2.

He had squirreled away plenty of lacy things. (For me not him -- not that I mind a guy with a feminine side.)

 

Okay. Those are most bathing suits but this is a PG-blog. Not that I would mind my children reading this and seeing pictures of lacy things. Children, you just need remember these things are is for mommys and daddys who love each other very much.*

So if he didn’t have all that going for him, he made himself utterly irresistible..

and gave me this.

3.

 

I love this man.

 

What is a gift that unlocks your heart and your …well, best stop with heart?

 

 

* And who are married to each other.

 

 

 

Marriage — 8 Comments
21
Sep 11

A muse to the dude, “It’s the pedal on the right.”

We drove this afternoon to the sea. And arrived two hours later than if I was driving.  But after 20-something years of wedded bliss I have finally learned to let it go……

My husband has a truck. He loves his truck. A truck that was stolen from him after 5 weeks of ownership.

But true love could not be daunted even by some low-rent thieves in Dekalb County. The truck and Johnny reunited a month or so later.

So today, he drove. And I tried not to come out with any negative vibe about his tortoise driving. For that could be hurtful to tortoises.

 

He programed in the address. The way I like to go is much quicker.

No. He liked the GPS way because ”it tells me what to do. I think every day of my life, I don’t want to think when I drive.”

Ugh. But nary a word.

10 and two grip.

 

All these cars sped by us like we were a watermelon Jolly Rancher shard cemented between my teeth.

 

 

He's slow but he's smooth. Caught up on some reading.

 

Great how the Instagram effortlessly photo-shops out all my eye-crinkles and deep parenthesis surrounding my mouth.

With his slowness. My hunger caught up with me and I ordered chicken and fries. A Kids Meal. That I ate all of.

 

 

Good. But hadn't planned on eating all my fries. That's what the stress of a slow driver does to me.

The one vehicle we passed. Its regulator set on 52 mph.

So relaxing to have all this at my feet.

 

 

Rain isn't my favorite on the way to beach. But no safety concerns because Mr. 10 and two was at the wheel.

 

So we are here. That’s all that matters.

And I didn’t complain. I don’t think passive-aggressive complaining counts.

When traveling…do you or does the dude drive?  

iPhone Photo Phun

Marriage — 9 Comments
28
Aug 11

Musing on a husband who cleans my drawers.

I came into our bedroom Saturday afternoon and my husband was kneeling, folding and organizing my armoire.

He looked peevish.

(So I didn’t think it was Day 12 of the Love Dare Challenge.)

* * *

I planned to organize my clothes all week. This resulted in a pile of jumbled bathing suits, exercise gear, shirts, and shorts about three feet high in front of this particular piece.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

Some of you might think it doesn’t look that neat.

That’s because its contents have been under my control for the last 24 hours.

* * *

Yesterday my daughter came in our room and said, “Wow. What happened in here?”

I don’t know whether to feel relieved, humbled or neutered.

What woman can’t organize her underwear?

Me.

* * *

And it seems like there is a lot to organize.

Finding eight black bikini bottoms, he said, “I don’t know if this was because of different life stages, different fitness levels.”

I pointed to one and said I never wear that one because my rear  hangs out.

“Then why the heck is it still in here?”

Okay. Fair point. (I paid a lot of money for it, that’s why.)

Then he said, “I found so much running gear it was like it was the athletic locker for the Nigerian women’s track team.”

What can I say? I’ve been running along time and I take care of my clothes when laundering. I just have trouble putting them away.

* * *

I do not like it when my husband gets in my drawers.

I do not like it in the rain, I do not like it on a train.

No, I do not like it Sam-I-am.

Does your significantly-organized other ever go through your closet?

 

Columns / Latest Newspaper Column / Life in Madison / Marriage — No Comments
7
Apr 11

The Elephant in the Room.

There are a few constants in life like how at the end of your meal at the ChopHouse, a tray appears bearing a bill and a Tootsie Pop. Then there’s how I always respond in a crisis with the grit and wit of an Army Ranger.

Last week, a mainstay in my world gave way. After many years of faithful service, our marital bed imploded – literally. Continue reading →

Columns / Food / Latest Newspaper Column / Marriage / The southern palate — 2 Comments
24
Mar 11

In Sickness and in Health. In French Fries and in Fruit.

Recently, my husband had an itsy health scare. One of those events that make you realize changes need to be made.

Perfect for me. Isn’t that what this year has been about? I’m up for changes in the way our family eats. I’ve been tending my garden and buying organic. Even though that makes a bigger dent each week in my tin cup, our family’s health is worth it right?

Good grief. This is work. Continue reading →

Life in Madison — 2 Comments
23
Mar 11

Musing on looking through other people’s homes…

Look at this wisteria. It’s right behind my house.

The house that I just said “Yes.” Yes, we will be on a fall Madison Tour of Homes.

Was I on drugs or should I start taking them right now?

You decide.

I haven’t told my husband.

After he gets home tonight, you might not be hearing from me for a

long, long time.

God Found in the Everyday / Marriage — 4 Comments
22
Mar 11

Musing on unpacked bags in the middle of the floor.

Mine’s on the right.

 We returned from the beach yesterday.  This was our bedroom floor last night.  

First off — notice that we took two huge bags for two people and we were gone two full days.  

2 people + 2 suitcases + 2 full days = stupid.   

But I came back from exercising late yesterday and saw this tableau.  

Notice one suitcase is cleaned out (except my belongings) and the other looks just as it did yesterday morning after I crammed stuff into it to leave.  

 Someone cleaned out their belongs and put them away.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

This morning. Another picture.   

One suitcase has vanished. 

What little elf is straightening up all my husband’s things and leaving mine laying in the middle of the floor?  

  

The jammies are new. I cast them there after carpool — didn’t think I should walk the dog in them. 

Some people are good about cleaning out their suitcases and putting stuff away. 

Other folks keep their’s packed, crammed-full of hurts, slights, comments misinterpreted.   

I am really bad about unpacking after a trip. Sometime a suitcase gets buried in more stuff I toss on there –  like a bonfire of clothes I don’t know what to do with.

Now Forgiving. I’m pretty good at unloading that stuff.

But  Worries.  I rarely unload that bag full of dirty clothes and things I took just in case….

What about you? 

Do you step  day after day over a huge bag of bitterness or frets?  Adding to it till the pile gets bigger and bigger?

 

 

← Older Entries