So much to get done today. Then came Tebow.
3:45 a.m.
I got out of bed and already felt behind.
Stumbling in the dark to make coffee, I smelled…
A very bad smell.
Dog poop.
Now I had cleaned up a large mess yesterday. (At this point, I realized I was dealing with a case of doggie diarrhea.)
I turned on the light.
There by the door was a pile. Many sloppy piles.
The first minutes of my day were gobbled up cleaning and scrubbing carpet.
* * *
I sat down with my coffee at 4:15 to quiet my brain and reflect on spiritual matters. To draw strength from things which I believe but cannot see.
And as I looked around, what I did see is?
This place was a wreck. I’ve got writing that absolutely needs to get done, appointments with children and exercise. (For there is always time to exercise.)
Overwhelmed with guilt on the state of this house, my anxiety bumped up a notch with how little time I have in the next few days to get things under control.
Sensing my distress, as dogs do have that my-Master’s-freaking-out-ESP, Tebow came over and laid his head on my lap.
I gave him some love and got up to pour more coffee.
Walking to the kitchen and looking behind the couch, I saw a glistening pristine lake of dog teeter in the spot I just cleaned from the poop.
God spoke to me through dog teeter.
Forget it, Jamie.
Forget your house being perfect.
Your life at this moment is children, a husband, deadlines and a pooping, peeing menagerie.
I hate not being in control. And I don’t feel capable to control much these days.
But I can rein in my emotions. I can chose to love, encourage and hold my children accountable.
I can love my husband the best I know how. Sans providing a nice straight, beautiful home when he walks through the door.
I can write awesome articles and turn them in on time.
And I can clean dog poop….
But that’s about it right now.
How about you? What was the moment that you realized….I can’t do it all?
Awww, poor Tebow 🙁 And poor you, too. I don’t like being out of control either, but I think I realized I had to let it all go when my kids were little — I just wanted to spend all my time playing and reading and being Mom — and the house just went down around me, haha.
Oh Julia….thanks for the smile. It was so nice when we were away this weekend. Keeping my “play” house all nice and clean. So restful.
So good. Finding messages in your carpet’s messages.
I realize that I can’t do it all every time I shower in my ridiculously messy bathroom. Seriously, it’s awful and I’m still sitting on the couch catching up on my reader instead of cleaning it.
Marina — all five of us use our bathroom. That’s one of my New Year’s Resolutions…to do something about that.
Excellent looking on the bright side. And it’s a great point, all we can control is ourselves.
Just found your blog and I LOVE IT! Great post!!
Thanks Mae.
Wow, you are a wordsmith. God was speaking to you, that is for sure. Hang in there lady~!
Thanks Christina…Things always get better. Maybe not picked up right way…but better.
Today is one of those days, but without the doggie diarrhea. I’ve got a ton of laundry and need to watch my step for toys in pretty much every room of our apartment. I need to get to that point where I realize not only that I can’t do it all, but that it’s okay that I can’t.
Oh, that doggy face. So sweet. I would have raised my white flag at that point as well!
I agree–My husband is my favorite introvert friend and I think you described him very well. Thanks for stopping by today.
A great list of lessons learned. Thank you for sharing them:)