Muses

Antiques Roadshow Orlando. All I got was a t-shirt. *that I wear all the time.

The Antiques Roadshow.

You’ve watched for 20 years. Okay — you’ve watched it at least once.

Don’t deny it.

Like me, you’ve dreamed of taking that unmarked lamp of your grandmother’s and it turning out to be rare vase from the long ago Martha Washington Pottery Coven?

I don’t have to dream about it anymore — at least taking it to the Antiques Roadshow.

Cause I done did that last June.

We had tickets to the 2016 Orlando show. Those three Roadshow episodes broadcast this month.

This post lacks pictures of the set because photos aren’t allowed in the Roadshow Inner Sanctum where the taping takes place.

Spoiler alert.

My husband and I aren’t going to be featured with our treasures. Because nothing we brought turned out to be worth diddly squat.

My husband rolls his eyes every time I say, “But we could be featured on the Feedback Booth.” After watching the first Orlando episode last week and no us in the Feedback booth, I’m thinking he’s probably right.

Nevertheless, in keeping with my long history of serious investigative blogging, I will spill the lowdown dirty scoop behind the scenes.

The worst thing I can divulge about the Antiques Roadshow is . . . everyone was so flippin’ nice.

So nice in fact that it almost took away the sting of finding out our items weren’t hidden treasures.

And that was a mighty blow. I’d fantasized about sitting there with a Keno talking about my lamp for a long time.

First, we got in a looonnnnggggg line with the folks assigned the same time.

Snaking closer to the gate, I thought be friendly Jamie, chat up with people. My line-mates and I discussed what we brought. How we decided at the last minute what to bring, all-the-while casting furtive glances at people’s stuff in the humongous line.

Once at the main portal, a Roadshow worker places each would be treasure in a category such as: Folk Art, Jewelry, Paintings, Pottery, etc. The Jewelry and Paintings lines were beastly long. John and I found ourselves with two items in Folk Art and two items in Pottery.

The Folk Art appraiser said my painting was worth about $100 less than what my parents paid for it 40 years ago. But he said it so nicely, I couldn’t be too disappointed, at least couldn’t stomp my feet and pout. That is until I left the bright lights of the taping area and stood in another line for my pottery lamp.

Which was a dud as well.

In fact everything I insisted we take in wasn’t a treasure. A bride’s box from the 1700s my husband brought, which I thought was a total fake, ended up being worth $400.

Standing in line for the Feedback Booth taping, a woman from Waycross, Georgia told us that she had tried for tickets every year for twenty-plus years if there was a city within a decent drive of her home. This was the first time she’d been selected.

This was the first time I’d tried to get tickets. Beginner’s luck I guess.

Talking to one of the volunteers, a woman a few years older than myself, I learned she drives hundreds of miles each summer to volunteer at many of the different locations. Which led me to wonder which appraiser does she crush on? I mean if you are into older Poindexters who are into antiques, this is Match.com and Studio 54 all rolled into one.

I’m into Poindexters too. Don’t tell my husband. He’ll be upset that I’ve outed his geek.